Today started with a timeshare pitch at Shell Vacation Club just down the road. The saleswoman didn’t appreciate having gotten the two young couples who definitely weren’t going to buy a timeshare today. She was pretty condescending to us, but we got out of there unscathed and with a $100 discount per couple for our airplane flight tomorrow.

After that, we rented a couple of double kayaks and went up the Waimea River. Going upstream for two miles took longer than we thought it would, and the hike to Secret Falls was nice, but longer than we thought. It reminded me of all those scenes on Lost where they’re hiking through the jungles. I was the only one who was wearing decent footwear — everyone else just had flip-flops. Brad even got a nasty-looking cut on his foot.

We got to the falls and ate our PB&J lunch (Sarah had a couple of McDonald’s salads instead), then went for a dip in the pool below the waterfall. It was refreshing but not too cold, and the water was just pounding on us. Sarah said it felt like a hurricane. We had a good time, and it wasn’t until after we got out that we heard a tour guide tell his group not to go directly under the main flow of the waterfall, because a rock or log or fish could fall on your head.

We got a little lost on the hike back to the kayaks, but eventually we found our way back down the river. We met a Hawaiian guy on a surfboard who was paddling downstream with us, and we asked him about the best places to go out to dinner. He also let me and Brad each take a spin on his board when we got back down to the dock.

We didn’t take his advice when it came to dinner, but I wish we had. Instead, we walked up to a place called Olympic Cafe that was recommended by some people we met in the hot tub. (A long soak was absolutely necessary after our hike and paddle.) The food wasn’t great, and the prices weren’t either, but it was close enough to walk. After the food, we walked over to the ABC Store across the street to look for souvenirs. We were checking out calendars when Brad turned over one called “Women of Hawaii.” It turned out to be topless women, quite a sight for Brad and Debbie, which led to this quotable line from our walk on the way home.

Brad: Remember when we saw 24 boobs?

On that note, I’m going to bed.